“Almost there, almost gone,” I say to myself as I walk to the corner before I enter the doors of the “workplace”. Big Sean The Light blasts through my headphones as my daily encouragement and motivation to keep my head high and my eyes on the prize…that PAYCHECK! You may think, she must not love her job. *chuckle*. I do, but to me it is just a job. I don’t see myself retiring there and establishing a foundation. It is a place for me work, get a paycheck and go home. Also, my team is in a whole other city, so when I go into the home office I feel like an outsider anyway because I feel like they are all super younger than me. I smile and nod and partake in a few conversations, but I mainly keep to myself. I believe it is easier for me to keep myself in solitude because when I do leave the company it will make it easier.
My former boss once asked me if I enjoyed working there “I told her it was just a job, not a place that I will be forever.” It is a good thing I consider my former boss to be a friend because I would have never told another boss that! And that is what I do, I just work. My mindset since working there has been to work and not be bothered about making friends. Which makes me wonder, being the only black woman there, should I try to make friends with my coworkers? I don’t want people to think I am the “mean” black chick in the office, but low key I kind of feel like they think I already am. I don’t participate in group lunches or petty conversations or even outside work events. Maybe it is my lack of creating a bond with my coworkers and trying to make friends, but to me this whole situation eliminates having work frenemies. You know the friends you have at work but that is the only time you hang out and they do not talk to you outside of work. Or yet, the they low key put you down at work and yell at you in front of other coworkers like it is the cool thing to do, but want to go to lunch like we are besties. Those work frenemies.
Recently, I had a coworker who was upset about her team not inviting her to participate in group activities and making snide comments. She expressed her frustration about the team being cliquish and how it felt like high school. For one, I thought to myself why do you care how people feel about you if you are their superior, and two, why would you want to be friends with people who do not want to be friends with you? Why invest in work frenemies? It is a waste of time.
If there is one place that I didn’t want frenemies, it would be at the workplace. Once you have a frenemy, you will always have to watch your back in everything thing that you do because they will do anything to make your life uncomfortable and some will even try to take you down to take your spot. Some people like to play that game, but I don’t. The only thing I like to do when I go to work is WORK. No extra projects needed that will take up my time or energy, and I feel like work frenemies is just another project that I do not want to take on.
So, it makes me wonder how do other people feel at work? Do you believe you are the fun-loving person who has tons of friends? Or are you that person at work that yearns for friends/frenemies, but can’t seem to make any? Or are you the one who gets yelled at or belittled by someone who you think is a friend, but is really a frenemy? Let’s chat… drop a comment below!
Love life and full of smiles